Told You So

I told you not to fuck that pig.

Perhaps majoring in Medieval French Literature wasn't such a great idea.

Even if you were black you could never be president.

Maybe your miscarriage is a sign that you shouldn't reproduce.

No. I don't care what you saw on the History Channel last night

Three cups of ranch dressing does not a "healthy alternative" make.

Sometimes dreams just don't happen for everyone. That's why there's always the food service industry.

Chill on the 'roids bro. Seriously.

Men are intimidated by your success.

Sure it looks cute now. But what about when you're 73 and on dialysis?

If only you'd listened to that wise old gnome at the crossroads ...

Just because your cat can't tell you to shut up doesn't mean he likes listening to you.

Either you have gangrene or you are keeping dead fish in your pants.

Didn't you learn anything from Jonbenet Ramsey?

Please just take a moment to see what you've become.

When the only clothes in your laundry basket have elastic waistbands ...