Job Related

Your decision to be a professional clown leads me to believe that you molest children.

After you're dead, no one will ever remember anything you've accomplished ...

Your new job reinforces racial stereotypes.

Just remember there's a very thin line between "dancer" and "prostitute".

A lot of famous actors had their start handing out flyers.

Congratulations on your new boring desk job.

Congratulations on flushing out your system before the urine test!

I hear the computers at your new job can support online role-playing games.

You'll be back in middle management soon.

Now that you have health benefits, maybe you should get those anti-depressants?

Please open a savings account.

Congratulations on passing your criminal background check.

Someone farted in the board room again.

I know that you have child pornography on your computer ...

Just because you scream the loudest and demand the most attention doesn't mean you're right.

This is a business, not a fashion shoot. Please wear a hair net.

The cards that you have placed in your cubicle are potentially offensive.

Two out of three for a lifeguard isn't a success.

Please stop appropriating my occupation as your sexual fetish.

There are some day old snacks in the breakroom.

Can we go over your expense reports?

Your children are a big distraction in the workplace.

... you are not a real police officer and I don't need to recognize your authority as such.

Congratulations on clearing your browser history before the surprise inspection.

... at least you're not following the horses at the parade.