Wedding

You've become a real pussy since your marriage.

Now that the sanctity of marriage has been affirmed, I guess divorces will no longer be necessary.

We only have one wedding!

I can't think of a single reason why having your wedding one week before Christmas would be an inconvenience.

Getting married to someone who can tolerate us is as close to real love most of us will ever know.

Congratulations on receiving your mail order bride!

Sometimes marriage is like riding a bucking bronco.

... your furniture makes me want to throw up.

Marriage is a finely played game of chess.

We support your civil union.

... you're both too weird for anyone else.

Let's hope this time you don't fold.

I can't afford to attend a gimmicky wedding in some exotic location.