Housewarming

I took the liberty of going through your medicine cabinet.

Welcome to your gated community!

A man's home doesn't necessarily have to be his castle.

Remember to use sunscreen because we don't like things to get too dark.

Welcome to the hobo camp.

This town is so fucking boring.

The less said about the fate of the previous owners the better.

... could you please keep the noise down?

We're at least ten years behind in every fad!

The power company says that bleeding from the eyes and hair loss is normal ...

Can you please close your drapes?