Anniversary

I think the whole open marriage thing is getting a bit unseemly at your age, don't you?

How about for our anniversary this year we each get something we really want.

Congratulations on 10 years of marriage. Inertia is fucking amazing, isn't it?

It's not my fault our anniversary fell on the same night as the big game.

On most anniversaries one gives flowers, on this one, I took yours.

Staying married to me will be like running a marathon.

This anniversary, let's call our single friends and act superior.

May your wife never find out about us.

I tried to tell you not to go through my shit.

I feel like our marriage is speeding towards failure ...

... I'm the only one who is going to watch this tape.

... I am glad we placed the decision to get married on an accidental pregnancy.

Who knew at our age we could get herpes?

I am glad you are taking an interest in my hobbies.